Coming back to uni after working has reinforced something I have suspected for a while: I can’t think more than four moves ahead. When I try, my brain gets fuzzy and I have to take a step back. When I play Spider Solitaire, I can see what will happen if I move one card here, and this stack there, and that will free this card and then…
I usually just make the move that hasn’t got any flaws in it up to four moves ahead. Sometimes I have to use the undo button.
When I do my homework on the weekend, I can prepare for my first four classes, and then I freeze. The crazy thing is, I can go into a lot of detail about my first four classes, and can plan multiple things for them. If I know I have an assignment coming up for my sixth class, for example, I can choose to focus on that first, and then I can do homework for my first three classes and then…
My brain works in funny little ways. I don’t like to see a power point switched on with nothing in the socket. Sometimes I get cross at myself for being so particular, but that always leads to me being cross at myself for being cross at myself and then being cross at myself for being cross at myself at being cross at myself and that leads nowhere.
It’s nicer to think of your quirks as funny or cute.
It’s very important to be able to handle those funny, cute little quirks. It’s very important to like your own quirks. One step closer to that lofty goal of self-satisfaction.
So, I do my homework straight after the class I just had. I write down what I think I’ll forget and then I see it the next time I write something down I think I’ll forget. I married someone who has a knack for finding my phone when I’ve lost it and left it on silent. He has quirks too, like leaving important words out of text messages. I’ve become a reliable husband translator like he’s become a reliable phone finder.
For those of you who are like me, who have flaws that mess up your life sometimes, may I offer some advice? Give yourself a break. Find some ways to deal with those flaws, and when they don’t work (they wouldn’t be real flaws if you could just get over them) remind yourself that you’re not alone.
And actually, it’s kinda cute.
by Laura Wilson