Once again we simultaneously save and condemn you and everyone you love, depending on which year you were born.

Rat
1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020

Rats are said to be one of the smartest mammals in the animal kingdom, that’s why they are first in the zodiac. Your parents, and the rest of society, are still disappointed with your lack of proper hygiene habits.

Lucky appointment: Vaccinations

 

Ox
1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021

Some cultures looks to the stars to provide meaning, so during the next full moon remember to look at up the stars. Somewhere out there, in all that vast emptiness, there has to be intelligent life that actually makes sense.
Lucky nursery rhyme: Hey Diddle Diddle

 

Tiger
1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022

Having a disability in today’s society doesn’t mean what it once did. Blind people can find all kinds of assistance to navigate through normal life. Your hairy palms, however, will prove a more difficult matter.

Lucky historical figure: Onan

 

Rabbit
1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023

’Spagbol‘ and two-minute noodles might generally be considered the go-to for cheap food, but try branching out into frozen meals — when frozen solid they can double as tools for home defence.

Lucky saying: “Yes, Mum, I am looking after myself”

 

Dragon
1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024

Dragons are pioneers, always leading the way and helping their friends. This season, don’t forget to look after yourself when you’re out there doing the good work — dysentery is a bad way to go under.

Lucky direction: Go West

 

Snake
1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025

Some fellow called Kong Qiu once said, “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it”. Look, I don’t choose what the spirits tell me — perhaps it’s supposed to be meaningful?

Lucky charm: A pair of very large, fuzzy dice hanging from your rear view mirror

 

Horse
1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, 2026

One lucky horse had an impromptu desert trip and some sudden amnesia last season. For the rest of you there isn’t as much excitement, so you’ll have to resign yourselves to avoiding people named Radcliffe.

Lucky theatre production: Equus

 

Goat
1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015, 2027

The spirits speak of Goats being kind, dependable and generous. They also ask how may spare beds do you have right now? And do you have a spare fiver? It sounds like you may be getting some visitors.

Lucky movie: Guess who’s coming to dinner?

 

Monkey
1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016, 2028

Mischievous Monkeys are going to enjoy the coming season as they discover nearly every challenge they face could easily be overcome by a small child. One challenge that won’t be so simple is the tetraparesis diagnosis.

Lucky moment: blink once for Yes

 

Rooster
1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017, 2029

Crowing about one’s own achievements is a favourite pastime in some cultures. Be proud of your own particular successes from the last season — the spirits suggest that you’re in for a bit of a dry spell.

Lucky reading: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

Dog
1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018, 2030

Buddhists tell a tale of a man who spreads a bag of feathers into the wind: the moral is that you can’t take words back. So when next you meet the ’man‘, tell them what you really think.

Lucky song: I Shot the Sheriff

 

Pig
1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, 2031

In Eastern astrology, the element that represents Pigs is Water. Water signs can exemplify flexibility, intuition, diplomacy and approachability. This season though, it would better suit you to be aware of the location of Emergency Exit signs.

Lucky fabric: Wool

 

 

as the spirits have impressed upon

 四川神秘
Sìchuān “Shénmì” Jī