1. Think about assignments at least three days before they are due.

2. Let the ideas steep in hot water, like the shower… let them steep in a cuppa tea… let them steep in a beer… let them steep in another beer… let them steep in something stronger, and get back to it on Thursday.

3. Shit, it’s Thursday.

4. Three cups of coffee may or may not shatter the writer’s block, and may or may not lead to stupid distractions.

5. YouTube documentaries on fractal geometry count as stupid distractions.

6. Shower beer is just as good when the weather is cold; shower is just as warm.

7. Procrastination takes many forms, like drinking.

8. Ugh… I feel crap… What day is it? … Thursday!?

9. Distinction is a vague term for a mark. How did I distinguish myself? Was it that bad?

10. Writing student confessions counts as procrastination.

11. Figuratively chaining yourself to your desk to finish that essay is about half as effective as actually chaining yourself to your desk to finish that essay.

12. Write it again. That was crap. No distractions this time.

13. The housemate with the key to the padlock works late.

14. I killed that essay!

15. Things will be better next semester. Maybe.